Sharon Anita Cooke Wilder
June 29, 1946 – August 16, 2025
Sharon Anita Cooke Wilder, 79, passed away on Saturday, August 16, 2025. She was surrounded by her beloved husband and best friend of 32 years, Ted; and her two daughters, Heidi Joe and Kelly Vaughan. Sharon also leaves behind a son-in-law, Billy, three grandchildren, Cameron, Devin, and Kelsey; and one great-grandchild, Lukas.
Anyone who knew Sharon will remember her unwavering devotion to the elderly and her fierce advocacy on behalf of nursing home residents. She was also known for her love of gardening, her green thumb, and her love of birds and chickens—affectionately referred to as her “chickie girls.”
Sharon began her career with Wake Opportunities, a nutrition program serving the elderly in Wake County. There, she developed a deep and lasting love for senior citizens. She later worked with the Triangle J Council of Governments before becoming a long-term care ombudsman, a role in which she championed the rights and dignity of nursing home residents. Her dedication led her to become the State Long-Term Care Ombudsman for North Carolina, a position she held with distinction for 18 years until retiring at the age of 70.
Her tireless efforts and fierce determination to protect and uplift the most vulnerable did not go unnoticed. Sharon was honored with The Old North State Award, recognizing her “dedication and service beyond expectation and excellence to the Great State of North Carolina.” In addition, the Sharon Wilder Long-Term Care Advocacy Award was established in her name and is given annually to an individual who demonstrates
exceptional commitment to long-term care advocacy.
When not at work, Sharon was most often found in one of her many flower or vegetable gardens, inside her greenhouse rehabbing orchids, or on the deck with a cup of coffee watching her birds. Sharon adored her family and cherished time spent with them. She loved life and all living things.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you honor Sharon’s life with donations to Friends of Residents in Long Term Care, an organization she worked with and respected greatly. They are a non-profit, non-partisan advocacy organization whose mission is to advance the quality of long-term care – https://forltc.org/donate-now
Sharon’s memorial service will be held at the West Clayton Church of God on Sunday, August 24 at 2:00 pm. The address is 143 Short Johnson Road, Clayton, NC 27520.
13 Comments
Our deepest condolences to Sharon’s family members and friends. Her love of older adults and her lifelong work serving them showed her incredible dedication. I remember Sharon from my early days as a State Long-Term Care Ombudsman. It’s because of her, and others like her, that those of us today can do our work advocating for elders and the disabled living in nursing homes and similar settings. Thank you to Sharon for all that she gave us. Patricia Hunter, President National Association of State LTC Ombudsman Programs.
I learned a great deal from working with Sharon. She was an advocate to her core! Thoughts and prayers for the family!
We are sorry for your loss. Sharon was a very sweet and kind person. She will be missed dearly. All the family are in our thoughts and prayers!
Dear Wilder family, I am so sorry to hear of Sharon’s passing. Sharon was indeed an effective advocate for nursing home residents, a wonderful colleague and friend. Over the years we shared many conversations about or work challenges and a few laughs, just to keep our sanity. She was a beautiful person and I am honored that i got to know her. My prayers are with you.
Ted and family – I am so sorry to learn of Sharon’s passing. Please know you are all in our thoughts and prayers at the optical shop.
Ted and family
So sorry for yours loss! She was an exceptional woman, advocate and so much more than words can be described. It’s the hearts that she touched that have and will have an everlasting impact. My heart knows for sure she is flying high with her angel wings. Much prayers and love to you.
Sharon and I were born on the same day and we were in high school together. She was a dear person to work so faithfully for seniors and to enjoy orchids as much as I do!
She will be so happy to see her precious mom. My prayers are with her family who were so special to her.
To Sharon’s family, you will be in my prayers. You will remember her as Wife, Mother and Grandmother but I will remember her as friend and one of the strongest advocates for NC’s senior population that I have ever known. Her arms were wide open, her knowledge never to be questioned and an all around terrific person. Rest in peace, Sharon. You will be greatly missed by many whose lives you touched.in so many ways.
My heart goes out to Sharon’s family during this difficult time. I had the privilege of working with Sharon in the Division of Aging until she retired, and I will always remember her generosity and warmth. She taught me so much—especially about growing tomatoes, though mine never quite matched the size of the beautiful ones she would bring in to share with us. She always saved the biggest ones just for me, and that small act of kindness meant so much.
I also had the honor of beginning my work delivering meals to seniors under Sharon’s leadership at the high-rise on Tucker Street. She made every day brighter with her joyful spirit and was truly a pleasure to be around. She will be deeply missed.
Saddened by the loss of such a dedicated and caring person who contributed so much to better the lives of our older adults in long term care. I experienced her passion for this on various committees as staff in the Adult Care Licensure of the Division of Health Services Regulation. We had numerous phone calls and individual meetings in which she so clearly showed her deep commitment to her advocacy work She defined what an advocate is. She also had a joyful spirit expressed through a beautiful smile and great laughter which made her fun to be around. The loss is great but so are memories.
Oh Ted! You took such great care of each other! I1 have so many great memories of Marlene talking about Sharon. You. Sharon and your family are in my thoughts.
I am saddened to learn of Sharon’s transition and pray God’s comfort for her family. Sharon’s passion and commitment as an advocate for older adults will never be forgotten by those whose life you touched. I am grateful that I had the privilege of knowing and working with her. Rest in Peace Sharon Wilder.
Heidi and Kelly,
So sorry to hear of this loss. My prayers for you as you deal with this difficult time.
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